The Fabricated Goddess

Revisiting This Thing....

The last few days I've been thinking a lot about this old blog.  Writing everyday has made me aware of a few things: one, that I miss it, and two, that I have so little time now to actually write in it.  Which would account for the lame-o posts the last week or so, not counting the lovely Erika's interview yesterday.  I got my questions from my interviewer, the equally lovely, unequivocally insightful and super dedicated Deb over at Jane Poet.  Wow! she dug deep and braved the entirety of my archives.  That is some serious dedication to her task.  She sought to know the subject and know it well.  Her questions were like a walk down memory lane.  She had me rereading posts I'd long forgotten.  She had me laughing at myself all over again.  

And, she had me thinking about why I do this thing and more importantly, why I haven't given it up.  I guess - and this is hard for me to admit - that I do actually like writing.  I just have trouble believing I should be writing.  I don't count myself smart enough, witty enough, or nearly talented enough to be doing this.  And yet I do love the words.   In the end it's very much about the words.  

So I guess what I'm saying is that I am recommitting to writing here.  And not just whiney posts about how I never write anything.  I miss this place. 

And I miss the process of finding my voice.

Hey, guess what?  See you tomorrow.

Okay....

soooo, I have nothing.  Pretty much I forgot about posting today until now.  

So here's my Halloween selfie.

Meow.

Why Am I Doing This....

I was going to give you a self portrait in lieu of a post, but I thought I should share with you that I'm struggling right now to stay on top of things.  It only took 10 days for me to get here, but I'm already questioning my sanity in pledging to blog every day this month.  I'm so overwhelmed by everything else in my life.  I went back to work full time this fall.  And while I love being out of the house more, I am finding it a challenge to adjust to now being stuck in a store away from home for days at a time.  And also, being so stupid tired every single day.  I know it's partly the weather and lack of sunshine, but dang! I barely make it through dinner.  Never mind trying to get anything much done around here.  I keep telling myself that I will adjust.  I will, right?

:: sigh ::

Will I ever figure out how to juggle all of it?  I do wonder if I'm incapable.  Seems that when I have one part of my life going so well, the other two thirds start to mould over like that half used container of yogurt at the back of your fridge.  Or maybe that's just my fridge.  

Finding balance seems to be a recurring yet elusive theme for me.  I don't seem to achieve it easily.  I also recognize that I have this expectation of everything being perfect at all times, anything less being failure.  Which, okay, I get is wrong on many levels.  Still, I want all my stars to align.  

So I'll throw this out there - how do you maintain balance in your life and what's your definition of balance.  And which is more important?  What defines balance or the actual achievement of it?  Chicken or the egg?