Today is Ethan's 12th birthday. It's impossibly hard to comprehend that twelve years ago today I was wondering what the hell just happened to me. I felt as if I'd been run over by a truck. Not to mention this baby that I suddenly had. It's such an odd thing when you have your first baby - or, well, at least it was for me - to become a mother in one swift instant. To realize that no matter what happens from that day forward, that you are unalterably change from the girl-woman you were into a mother. It's an incredibly, if a wee bit scary, thing.
This year has been full of great changes for Ethan. The least of which is his diagnosis, although of course that was pretty big. A year ago he was an inch and a half shorter than I, with a piddly sprout of hair on his upper lip just beginning to grow, and a rapidly deepening voice. Today he is a full 4 + inches taller than I am, shaving and sounding like a man. Also, he smells distinctly like a goat most of the time, but I digress. He has grown so much, not only in his physical self, but in his understanding of who he is and what he needs and although it's clear we still have a long way to go, he really has come such a very long way.
So, happy birthday, dear Ethan. You introduced me to parenthood. You stretch me and make me reach beyond what I think I can handle (sometimes on an hourly basis), you always make me laugh - even when you are simultaneously pissing me off, and you still let me hold your hand at the mall. In fact, you reach for mine more often than I can count and that, my boy, is an amazing gift.
It's funny, isn't it - when getting off the train a little while (working away with work for a few days), my better half had brought the kids to meet me.
I was SO proud to have three little girls run down the platform and bundle into me :)
Posted by: Jonathan | November 03, 2010 at 04:21 PM
I know. It is the most amazing thing. Your girls are treasures! What a lovely image I have of you 4 together. :)
Posted by: Fabricated Goddess | November 03, 2010 at 08:16 PM