Balance....

I'm still struggling to find the balance around here between all the parts of me. The me that homeschools E. The me that need to maintain some semblance of order around the house. The me that need to be attentive to the needs of not just the wee people and wee pup but also the grown up in the house too. The me who's creative synapses are firing in a million different directions right now. The me who is actually producing some amazing stuff.

The problem I'm still having though is that when that me who creates and invents takes over it's a little bit like the Bugs Bunny cartoon where he drinks the potion and becomes Jekyll and Hyde. I feel a little beastly right now. I'm knee deep in a project that needs to be completed by Tuesday and it's going well. I'm so pleased with it. Resentment is mounting though. I mean, when I'm on a roll, I don't even like to stop to eat or go to the bathroom. People, I resent bodily functions when I'm in this state. I mean, how ridiculous is that? It's like I'm temporarily inserted into a manic state, and let me tell you, it's not really all that fun for me or my family. Yesterday I showered (novel idea) and I was in such a rush that I forgot to put on deodorant. And that's not the worst part. The worst part is that I realized I hadn't put any on and I chose to ignore the fact based on the fact that stopping what I was doing and trekking back upstairs would be too much a waste of precious time. I'm starting to understand why some artist are such social misfits (read: total nutters).

The rest of my life is falling apart too. The kids and the dog and the adults in my life have been sadly neglected. The house? Oh the house. It's a disaster. The laundry has sneaked off and multiplied itself under my very nose. The clutter has crept back in. There are (and I kid you not) fabric scraps tracked through the whole house. I keep finding them absolutely everywhere.

I think I need to stop reading blogs like Soulemama and Angry Chicken. These women! I love their blogs (and their work) truly, I do. Problem is they seemingly do it all. Their blogs are full of lovely photos depicting happy children doing crafts (!) and project updates and beautiful studios with stacks of neatly folded fabric on display and recipes for actual food they serve their family and (AND!!) they write books. Beautiful books all while nurturing their families, sewing things for their shops, photographing every lovely moment. Don't they ever have meltdowns? Don't they ever serve grilled cheese with carrot sticks and apple slices for dinner again? Don't they ever look around and want to scream at the piles of project and the long list of other demands? Don't they ever scream and have to apologize after? Is the sun always shining in their world? Maybe it's all just carefully edited. Maybe they are just as nutters as me from time to time. But clearly, peaking into their worlds is not helping me cope with mine.

Here's what I need. I need to find some real mama craft blogs where after a day of harried sewing/cooking/cleaning/fight-breaking-upping they sit slightly slumped and glassy eyed on a couch full of unfolded laundry and drink a glass of wine before shuffling into bed, which for the record, is unmade.

Comments

[Fabricated Goddess]

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[Samantha]

Hey Michelle,

Try this blog, I hear the wife/mother has meltdowns all the time. I have also heard that her house is far from perfect and laundry litters the floors! It should be a real pick me up!
samdanrichards.blogspot.com
Cheers!
Samantha

[Fabricated Goddess]

thanks Sam! I'll have to check her out....sounds like I'll be able to totally relate. ;)

[Zephie]

Yay, new blog! :D

I'm sure you're not alone on the whole omg-chaos-everywhere - you might just be more open about your problems with it! That's perfectly fine though, I think many of these other craftin' mama's could relate to you there, even if they might not write about it so much. You might be just the kind of relief to them as you are hoping to find on other blogs. :)

Also, laundry and clutter are ANY household's most evil adversaries, so I wouldn't feel too bad about that either. ;) I never really mind a bit of clutter around the house anyway, it shows that the place is being lived in!

[Evolving]

Wow, I am so glad that I am not the only one who does this! Well...to be perfectly honest I wish I was so in touch with my creativity that I neglected everything. Unfortunately I am still in the "putting off the creativity to do everything else but create" phase. Hooray for chaos!!!

[Fabricated Goddess]

Weeelll, in touch with my creativity needs to be qualified: I call it sporadic burst of frenetic productivity followed by long periods of apathy. And all too often I just put it off entirely. Sadly.

But when it does come, woo boy, look out.

[Anna W]

Wow - I identified with so much of what you wrote, it's a bit scary. The deodorant? Totally me. I just found your blog via SewMama, and will definitely be coming back.

I always tell myself that those ladies with the "picture perfect" lives clear all the mess before they take the pictures. You know, like when I have company over I jamb all the junk mail that has accumulated on the table into a pile out of the way. But even when they take pictures of their "mess" it seems romantic, so I don't know...

Here's a blog I recently found. The author's a really good writer, and everything I've read so far is very straight-forward. Oh, and it's laugh-out-loud hilarious. http://www.finslippy.com/finslippy/

[craftmatic]

Pure Pleasure, not only to look at but to spend time in there!!! I love how all the elements are carefully placed and selected but with an easiness that makes it both approachable and intimate!