The Fabricated Goddess

Friday Freefall....

A while ago I did a show with Bumbershoot Children's Theatre called Munsch Ado About Nothing.  A lively show that combined several Robert Munsch stories into one.  It was a lot of work, but also, thanks mainly to a fantastic cast a whole lotta fun.

Here's a few of my favourite pictures taken of the show by another good friend of mine, photographer Simone Wittenberg.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So.Munsch.Fun. 

 

Lexicon

Scene: at dinner with the family.

Me: I'd like to write a post about the lexicon that we use as a family.

Erin: Like what?

Me: Well you know like congraduation and spellebrations.

Erin:  You've already blogged about crotchular.  We don't have that many words we've made up.

Finn:  Wait, I have one!  Spaghedulation.

Erin:  Spaghedulation?  Like spaghetti and schedule?

Me:  You just made that up right now didn't you?

Finn:  It's good though right?

Erin:  Fecal dust!  that's definitely one of our isms.

Me:  Oh boy.

Letters To Strangers......

Dear Fellow Shoppers,

Let me start by saying that while I recognize and appreciate your right to smoke in the parking lot of the local Giant(!) Bargain(!) Warehouse(!!) type grocery store, I do not appreciate that you are blowing your smoke my way.  Especially since you were not simply smoking a cigarette.  No.  You were smoking a big fatty.  People, is this what we have come to?  The mere act of going to a huge overstocked conveniently located grocery store necessitates you girding your loins first?  Because grocery shopping is so stressful?  

Grocery.shopping.

I think it's safe to say that your grip on reality is slipping.

Sincerely,

fg 

Weekending....

As this last week draws to a merciful close, I am reminded of all the good that has come out of the last 6 months worth of stress and anxiety.  We have made a major reroute in our mutual careers that has greatly changed the way our family will function, for the better.  This week feels like the dust is almost settling.  I know that there are still some hurdles to leap over.  But earlier this week, even when I was feeling stressed, Erin turned to me one night and said, 'it's so good to have laughter back in our family'.  And I couldn't agree more.  The last 5 years have built a cumulative wall of soul sucking stress around us, leaving us all feeling helplessly isolated from each other.  What was clear over the last year (especially with me starting back to work full time out of necessity) was that something had to change.

And change it did.

Someone asked me a few weeks ago if I had known going into this major change how it was going to be - the level of stress, anxiety, etc - would I have done it anyway?  Without even a moments worth of pondering I answered a resounding 'yes'.  And I really meant it.  Even in the most brutal moments when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, I really knew that I could and would take more.  That I was strong even in my weakness.  And I know I've blathered on about this in such a horribly cryptic way this week, but I needed to process through some of it here.  

Feel free to just skip over this last post about it while you wait for the lighter hearted variety that is sure to come back soon.  I'm sure that my sense of humour is about to kick into full swing after so.much.melodrama.

Till tomorrow.

fg

 

 

Add It To The List....

Yesterday was such a spectacular day.  Even today, it's still sinking in.  Think of it like this - if my life was a book, then yesterday someone opened it up to the index in the back and took a yellow highlighter and marked all the negative parts - whether I was responsible for them or not.  

Yeah, fun.

Do you remember those Shoebox Greetings cards with the cranky old lady in her house coat and slippers, cigarette dangling?  We always used to forget my mum's birthday.  I don't know why, it's just sort of always happened, for whatever reason.  One year I found this perfect Shoebox Greetings card, old lady with her attitude on the front, indifferently smoking "So, I forgot your birthday again....(inside)....Well add that to the list of thing I'll burn in hell for."

To the next person who adds crap to my pile I say, just add it to the list of things I'll probably burn in hell for. 

 

Today I....

need the universe to cut me some slack....I don't know how much more I can take.  I am teetering on the edge of a meltdown.  I can't keep taking hits for stuff that is beyond my control.  

Just Under The Wire.....

I had a whole post going about some words I love, but I lost steam somewhere along the way today.  Mondays kick my butt.  I don't know why, but by this point in the day I'm just so very done.  My brain is really not functioning at full capacity.  

BUT I'll tell you what is great.  I am down to one job and one job only and that, dear gracious internet peeps, is a miraculous thing indeed.  

This past weekend I was in a reader's theatre production of John Gabriel Borkman, and Ibsen play.  It was dark and twisted and fabulous!  I can not tell you what a great, if short lived experience it was to do this show.  I will get some pictures to post soon, but for now I'll leave you with a picture of me pre-costume, but post hair assembly.

Step one:: curl the heck out of your already curly hair.

 

Step two :: pile hair on top of head and secure with a butt-load of bobby pins.  

And voila! 

Okay, see you tomorrow.  Thanks for sticking around!  You'll never know how much that means. 

 

 

 

 

 

Open Letter....

Dear Universe,

Thank you for making it abundantly clear this morning that despite late night revelations, my progress as a human on this planet is stunted.  I'm working on it okay?  Clearly, I have baggage.  I'm fully willing to own it.  I'm working on getting rid of it but you aren't helping.  So please, please, for the love of everything near and dear to my heart, let me off the hook for some stuff.  I've grown up a lot.  I promise.  And I can't carry my foibles in their entirety anymore.  They are too heavy.  And I don't want them.  And what's more?  I'm not that person anymore.  I haven't been for a long time.  Too bad you haven't noticed.

Regardless, this is my notice to you, so pay attention, this is important.

I'M MOVING ON.

Got it?  

Good.

Sincerely,

FG (or if you prefer: MDH, Solace or Mike - take your pick)

Traditions...

Things I like to get in my stocking, in no particular order:

• new tooth brush
• a magazing - preferably something fashion-wise that I would never usually buy
• nail polish 
• lip balm
• body wash and/or lotion
• underwear and/or socks
• emery boards
• razor
• hand cream
• kinder surprise
• (and/or) lindt chocolates
• new pens (gel ink)
• a jar of olives (what, it's a tradition from childhood and yes I realize that's odd)

Things I do not like to get in my stocking, in no particular order:

• thong underwear (because that is clearly for someone else's enjoyment)
• bikini wax kit
• facial hair bleach
• anything that could be categorized as an 'ointment' for an 'ailment' 
• crossword puzzle book
• ball point pens

Your turn!

High Praise....

Face painting today for Christmas Light Up.  

Many many kids patiently waited for me to paint puppies and butterflies and snowmen on their expectant faces. Some chattered happily.  Some cringed at the tickley paint brush on their sweet cheeks.  Many said 'please'. Many said 'thank you'.  Some wondered 'is it MY turn NOW?'.  Some got so impatient that they tried to cut in line.  

But one just simply said 'wow'.

And it really doesn't get any better than that.