Dear Universe,
Thank you for making it abundantly clear this morning that despite late night revelations, my progress as a human on this planet is stunted. I'm working on it okay? Clearly, I have baggage. I'm fully willing to own it. I'm working on getting rid of it but you aren't helping. So please, please, for the love of everything near and dear to my heart, let me off the hook for some stuff. I've grown up a lot. I promise. And I can't carry my foibles in their entirety anymore. They are too heavy. And I don't want them. And what's more? I'm not that person anymore. I haven't been for a long time. Too bad you haven't noticed.
Regardless, this is my notice to you, so pay attention, this is important.
I'M MOVING ON.
Got it?
Good.
Sincerely,
FG (or if you prefer: MDH, Solace or Mike - take your pick)