The Fabricated Goddess

Get On Board....

And you better do it now, cause I'm warning you all, the Crazy Town Express is pulling out of this station.  

God help you if you miss it.  

Next stop Holy Shit, I Don't Care Square, followed by I Have Bigger Fish To Fry Island.

No refunds.  No transfers.  No round trip tickets.

Any takers?

 

Letters To Strangers......

Dear Fellow Shoppers,

Let me start by saying that while I recognize and appreciate your right to smoke in the parking lot of the local Giant(!) Bargain(!) Warehouse(!!) type grocery store, I do not appreciate that you are blowing your smoke my way.  Especially since you were not simply smoking a cigarette.  No.  You were smoking a big fatty.  People, is this what we have come to?  The mere act of going to a huge overstocked conveniently located grocery store necessitates you girding your loins first?  Because grocery shopping is so stressful?  

Grocery.shopping.

I think it's safe to say that your grip on reality is slipping.

Sincerely,

fg 

Weekending....

As this last week draws to a merciful close, I am reminded of all the good that has come out of the last 6 months worth of stress and anxiety.  We have made a major reroute in our mutual careers that has greatly changed the way our family will function, for the better.  This week feels like the dust is almost settling.  I know that there are still some hurdles to leap over.  But earlier this week, even when I was feeling stressed, Erin turned to me one night and said, 'it's so good to have laughter back in our family'.  And I couldn't agree more.  The last 5 years have built a cumulative wall of soul sucking stress around us, leaving us all feeling helplessly isolated from each other.  What was clear over the last year (especially with me starting back to work full time out of necessity) was that something had to change.

And change it did.

Someone asked me a few weeks ago if I had known going into this major change how it was going to be - the level of stress, anxiety, etc - would I have done it anyway?  Without even a moments worth of pondering I answered a resounding 'yes'.  And I really meant it.  Even in the most brutal moments when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, I really knew that I could and would take more.  That I was strong even in my weakness.  And I know I've blathered on about this in such a horribly cryptic way this week, but I needed to process through some of it here.  

Feel free to just skip over this last post about it while you wait for the lighter hearted variety that is sure to come back soon.  I'm sure that my sense of humour is about to kick into full swing after so.much.melodrama.

Till tomorrow.

fg

 

 

Add It To The List....

Yesterday was such a spectacular day.  Even today, it's still sinking in.  Think of it like this - if my life was a book, then yesterday someone opened it up to the index in the back and took a yellow highlighter and marked all the negative parts - whether I was responsible for them or not.  

Yeah, fun.

Do you remember those Shoebox Greetings cards with the cranky old lady in her house coat and slippers, cigarette dangling?  We always used to forget my mum's birthday.  I don't know why, it's just sort of always happened, for whatever reason.  One year I found this perfect Shoebox Greetings card, old lady with her attitude on the front, indifferently smoking "So, I forgot your birthday again....(inside)....Well add that to the list of thing I'll burn in hell for."

To the next person who adds crap to my pile I say, just add it to the list of things I'll probably burn in hell for. 

 

Open Letter....

Dear Universe,

Thank you for making it abundantly clear this morning that despite late night revelations, my progress as a human on this planet is stunted.  I'm working on it okay?  Clearly, I have baggage.  I'm fully willing to own it.  I'm working on getting rid of it but you aren't helping.  So please, please, for the love of everything near and dear to my heart, let me off the hook for some stuff.  I've grown up a lot.  I promise.  And I can't carry my foibles in their entirety anymore.  They are too heavy.  And I don't want them.  And what's more?  I'm not that person anymore.  I haven't been for a long time.  Too bad you haven't noticed.

Regardless, this is my notice to you, so pay attention, this is important.

I'M MOVING ON.

Got it?  

Good.

Sincerely,

FG (or if you prefer: MDH, Solace or Mike - take your pick)

Coming Out Of Hibernation....

   

It's definitely winter around here.  Snow, snow, and well, more snow.  In all areas of my life I seem to be in hibernation mode.  I'm exercising a little less.  I'm napping more.  I'm slacking in all areas of creativity.  I mean just look how I've neglected this blog!   I didn't intend to take such a long break, it just sort of happened and now I need to ease myself back into it.  Sort of the same way you ease yourself back into a regular shaving routine once you realize that you can't cover all that leg hair up with layers and layers of clothing.  You know, one day you look down and realize your legs are sporting a nice downy coat.  But it would be sort of overkill to groom all your extremities the first go.  A girl's got to ease into this sort of thing.  So, you know, you shave that little confused patch of hair that insists on growing on your big toe.  And, maybe your ankles.  Now at least you can wear you flip flops and capris.  Next time, up to the knee.  And maybe after a week of maintaining that you go ahead and tackle those troublesome knees.  

So shall I ease into blogging again.  Just a little bit at a time.  Can you believe I used a leg shaving analogy for that?  I'm more than a little impressed myself, you know, since usually I just whine incessantly about how lazy and pathetic I am. 

Also, I had a dream about blogging which inspired me to take a crack at it again.  I'll be back later to tell you about the dream.  But rest assured, it was just too silly to ignore.  A message from beyond the blogosphere.

Looking Back....

I spent some time yesterday evening transferring some of my archive from my (dot)mac account over here.  Slowly but surely I'm gaining ground on that list of things that I said was 10 miles long.   I have to admit something though, I'm a little ashamed of how many whiney 'I've been lazy, I'll get off my slacking a** and post something soon, blah-de-blah" posts there were.  People!  I don't consider myself a whiner but I sure have whined a whole bunch in the last year.  I would like to extend my humblest apologies to you, dear readers, who have continued to bravely check in.  All three of you.

I did find a few gems though.  I remembered how much I was enjoying doing the 'x365' notes.  I need to pick that up again.  And also, not surprisingly, I actually have been making stuff.  I've just been too lazy (sorry!) to actually document it.  So a little update in that department might be nice, you know, for the sake of posterity and such.

All that to say, internets?  How I have miss you!! I'm sorry I've been in such a self pitying funk.  The last year (okay two, but are really counting?) seemed to have been a low point for a variety of reasons - none of them really good ones either.  BUT, I felt the upswing start to take hold this summer.  And for the first time in a very long time, I'm feeling some hope.   

And you know what?  That really is something.